Speaking, Healing, Hoping

As you may already know, another 40 Days for Life event was kicked-off on Wednesday, September 26, 2012, in Tulsa.  I was honored to attend and see someone dear to me speaking on the podium that day.  The woman who spoke was sharing her abortion experience and permitting a group of essential strangers to join her grief in a very intimate way.  This woman rose above her fear and allowed others to hear her story.  Who knows what that might have done for an unknown person in the crowd?  Who knows what seed was planted as a result of her courage?

It is by her strength that I am reminded that it does, in fact, take a great deal of it to speak about such personal experiences in an open forum.  Regardless of the "friendliness" of the crowd in attendance, nothing is easy about telling a group of people that you endured an abortion that caused the death of your unborn child and... that you did it willingly...but...that now you grieve that loss every day of your life.  No.  It isn't easy.  Often, leading up to or directly following public declarations of this nature, a spiritual warfare ensues and your very being is challenged from multiple angles.  Sometimes the attacks manifest as sadness or a general feeling of being overwhelmed.  Other times, it is a sudden urge to hide away from everyone's sight so no one recognizes YOU said those words.  Still others, the attacks come in the forms of arguments with others, several bad days at work/school, or just generally being at odds with those around you.  Speaking the truth about what is "abortion" and all that comes with it angers the Enemy and poses a threat to anyone who desires the continued perpetuation of this harm upon others in the name of "Choice."  That "choice" comes with enormous consequences...

Then why?

Why do it?  Why put ourselves deliberately in the line of fire?  Why place ourselves on a platform for all to see and judge?  Why?  Why?  Why?

GRRRREEEAAAATTTTTT Questions!

Simple answer...one word answer..God.  It is by His Will that we take courage and go out into the world to speak the Truth.  It is by His Grace that we can look back onto the horror of our actions and remain strong enough to speak about to others in the hope they will understand the true nature of this tragedy.  It is because God loves us so much that we are forgiven and are able to extend that revelation to others who may not realize GOD REMAINS OUR FATHER WHO LOVES US DEEPLY REGARDLESS OF OUR MISTAKES!

That's right.  God loves me even though I took the life of an innocent.  He has the power to take my pain...the pain of others like me...and use it for good...use it to help other people.  He can take evil and use it as a tool to find forgiveness and hope.  How amazing is that? 

As I prepare to speak to a sympathetic crowd on Saturday (at the Garden of Hope, Tulsa), I have taken time to reflect upon these things and also, upon my own abortion experience.  While I take courage in Christ, the weight of that long-ago decision still threatens me from within.  Particularly as I recently was able to figure out the age of my baby at the time of the abortion.  That was a tough one for me last week, I must say.  Especially with all the information I have now about a baby's development and since I now realize that the baby is capable of feeling pain at an early stage.  But, it was something I had to face and because God knew I would one day encounter this detail, He prepared me with love as well as the healing of Rachel's Vineyard.  Those things make it possible to feel the hurt and pain of my deed without necessarily reliving them.  Instead, I have the ability to transform them into hope and healing.

My baby girl, Gabrielle Elise, was on the cusp of what the abortionist said was "just barely in time" so that he could still perform the abortion.  That statement has haunted me for years and last week, I finally gained the courage to look up the State of New York limitations on abortion (I had my abortion in NYC).  I found that abortions were legal at different stages, but only in certain settings.  For instance, an abortion could be conducted at a clinic up to the 12th week.  After that, a patient must have the procedure done in a hospital setting on an in-patient basis.  This means, I was either in the 12th week, or just prior to it. 

Wow.  No words.  Just a heaviness in the chest.

Some facts of what had developed in my child by that time:

• Vocal chords
• Eyes move closer together
• Ears are in proper position
• Intestines move into position
• Liver begins to function
• Pancreas is producing insulin
• Kidneys secrete urine into bladder
• Brain development is rapid
• New nerve ending connections are made, daily
• Most systems are fully formed

I have to admit, this was a difficult revelation.  My baby was developed enough to be considered, even by those who loosely recognize it as a baby...as exactly that...a baby at this point.  She had brain activity, a beating heart, major organ functions...and...nerves...nerves that can FEEL PAIN.

My fear, my inability to act in contradiction to all of those opinions swirling around me caused pain, suffering, and death to a perfect little being that was supposed to be safely tucked away inside my womb.  Again...if not for the healing mercy of God through Rachel's Vineyard and the loving support of my husband, this information could have very easily caused me to spiral into significant emotional pain all over again.  I had my suspicions until now and this was confirmation of what I had actually done. 

How does a person reconcile something of this magnitude?  How does a person overcome such an act of selfish fear?  Again...I say to you...G-O-D!  It is by His MERCY that I am able to carry onward today in spite of recognizing this horror.  It is by His WILL that I am guided so that my mistake may not be someone else's.  It is by His GRACE that I overcome this trauma so that I might help others through theirs.

Why do I speak about something so incredibly personal? 

Because how will others know of God's love and the healing awaiting them if those who suffered in silence continue to remain silent themselves?

God is love and He teaches us that loving one another, especially through our pain, is of the highest priority.  It took others loving me through mine to get me here.  How could I not, in turn, bring that miracle and hope to someone else?  How could I say "no" to God when He said "yes" to me?

May you always keep God close in your heart. 

May your suffering be healed. 

May your voices be heard.

Peace.

The Journey Continues

Some of you may not be aware that I recently decided to pursue higher education and obtain college degrees.  I've been on this journey for the past 2 1/2 years and recently graduated with an associates from a community college.  Now, I am a student at a university pursuing my bachelor's in social work.  It has been a wonderful journey thus far and one I cannot imagine being possible without God, my husband, and Rachel's Vineyard.

Particularly interesting to me is the ability I now have to engage people from various backgrounds, ages, and ethnic heritages in many subjects, including that of abortion.  The fact is that before Rachel's Vineyard, I could not even speak "abortion" aloud.  After Rachel's Vineyard, I was quite good at it, to a fault.  I had to learn balance and compassion in my tone.  The years leading up to my retreat, I had become more and more Pro Life, but not to any degree where I would engage in conversations for the most part.  Afterwards, I sought every opportunity.  I had trouble having a conversation with someone who was Pro Choice or undisturbed by what occurs in women (and men) post-abortion.  Emotions would often take me over and I grew more and more aggressive, but not always taking into consideration remaining respectful.  I was charged!

God has helped me a great deal in this area.  He has helped me through exposure to people who believe quite differently.  I had to navigate conversations, face-to-face, and avoid heightened emotions taking over.  A challenge, indeed.  However, it was one of the best things that could have happened.  Not only did I grow in conviction about this issue, I grew in understanding how to speak with others about it without harshness.  There is something lost when debating on such a subject  online instead of in person.  People lose sight of one another as "people" and feel free to speak rudeness and hurt freely.  Too freely.  Having to navigate these conversations in the "flesh" has been another gift from God. 

I have friends, whom I love dearly, that still feel a woman has a right to an abortion at-will and that do not acknowledge the pain and suffering associated with abortion.  I could never have imagined calling people with whom I so vehemently disagree "good friends" prior to my school experience.  My how God does put things into our lives to further educate us in His Will!  As a result of all this, I found a more compassionate voice.  I found a way to be passionate and assertive without pushing people so far from my message that it becomes lost in an abyss or rejection.  I could not have learned that lesson if I had kept my debating limited to online discussions or among like-minded people.  God knew that and He provided an opportunity geared toward my growth.

I am not suggesting that everyone suddenly take up the task of bringing debates into person-to-person situations haphazardly, however, I am encouraging everyone who has a calling to "speak out" to do so in more than just one venue.  We should all be well versed in multiple mediums if we hope to successfully spread The Truth, especially as it concerns those who are lost, hopeless, or even angry and resentful.  Although some Pro Choice persons are without reason and spew vile filth, it is important to remember that they are actually a minority.  Most who support that position are actually disillusioned, misinformed, or simply cannot accept life beginning with conception.  Those things do not make them evil, just as my succumbing to an abortion at 17 did not make me evil.  God has great mercy and love for all of us, just waiting to be accepted.  If we forget all we endured as a result of abortion touching our lives in some way, then how can we ever hope to bring that healing to those who need it?

These are just some of my thoughts brought on by the amazing things God has put into my life.  I praise Him in all things and thank Him for helping my suffering bring about a whole new world healing, openness, and forgiveness, which may have otherwise been lost to me.

When Darkness Comes...

It has been five years since my Rachel's Vineyard Retreat...five years ago this month.  I attended, reluctantly, and received the blessings of hope, healing, and confidence.  The wound in my heart, although still there, felt repaired.  As a result of the retreat, I received the gift of moving forward and ending the blaming and self-loathing that had walked everywhere with me for so many years.

The funny thing about Satan, however, is that he is patient and never gives up.  He awaits that moment when he knows we are weak...he whispers to us so subtly that we are barely aware of his presence.  He comes in the shadows through our desires and feeds upon our insecurities.  He is the master at manipulating our emotions and can encourage the resurgence of an abyss in our hearts.  If we are not careful, we are likely to fall prey to his devices and ruin the progress made thus far.

Some of you may be wondering why this post appears so dark and almost poetic in its descriptions of feelings that should no longer exist, right? 

I was confused by that very thing.  For weeks I have struggled with an inner sadness and dark spot on my soul.  No matter how I tried to rise out of the abyss, I continued to sink further and further into it.  My prayers became like dust in my mouth without substance.  My words felt hollow.  I continued to follow my "duty" in life at work, church, home, etc., however, none of "felt" right or good.  I was empty...I have been completely empty. 

Why?

Then, finally, God spoke to my heart and reminded me of a pain I try so hard to put away.  I recalled that it was, in fact, in May/June that I became pregnant 20+ years ago.  It was, in fact, the summer time that holds that darkness for me.  It was, in fact, in August that I made a decision that would forever influence my life.  In August, 1991, I ended the life of my child and it altered everything from that point forward.

Thinking on this now, I realize that every summer...since that fateful year...I descend into what someone once termed, "The Valley of Chris" where I lose my ability to truly feel God's presence in my life and shut everything and nearly everyone, out of my life.  It has been a subconscious occurrence and until now, from year-to-year, I had not even made the connection.  Why then, now do I become aware?  Why is it that I finally "see" what is happening?  How is it that I was blind for 20 years to this within me and only NOW realize it? 

Simple...God. 

It is through HIM that we truly "see" things in our lives.  It is because of HIM that we are able to pull ourselves out of darkness whenever it wraps its tentacles about our throats.  It is by HIS WILL and STRENGTH that we find our way back to the light and remember that our past DOES NOT DEFINE US!

Funny that I missed noticing how Satan still had his sharp claws within me, isn't it?  That is how crafty he can be...he is patient and subtle and not always the "big bad scary" that leaps at us with blazing eyes and evil sneering. 

No, often he comes in a form that is difficult, if not impossible to recognize. 

He floats in unnoticed and then, begins his gradual tearing down of our defenses. 

I believed my healing journey began that wonderful weekend at Rachel's Vineyard.  And, in fact, it had.  However, the mistake I made was believing there was nothing more to it other than accepting the healing and simply, moving onward with God's revealed Will for my life.  Satan planned on that given that he knew he had already lost one battle.  So, he was patient and seeped into a hidden part of my soul waiting for the moment when I would be weak and unguarded.  Little did I know that when I began my journey of healing, I was also challenging the ENEMY to "up his game" because I was continuing to move away from him and reaching for the light of our Saviour. 

You see...Satan failed to destroy me through my abortion.  He failed to keep me from that healing Grace offered by Our Lord God through the people at that retreat.  He further failed when I found my voice and accepted God's direction for my life. 

One epic fail after another, and I imagine I frustrated the hell out of him, no pun intended! 

I was so swept up in my new found confidence, that I forgot how calculating he is when it comes to these battles on Earth.  I left, unprotected, the vulnerable place in my heart that belongs to my sweet Gabrielle Elise.  I permitted his infection to surround my heart in a way that was almost imperceptible until I was suffocating from its embrace.

I am certain now, that he is once again angry.  I am certain now, that he is recoiling and aiming to strike me in a new way.  I am certain now, that he is not finished with throwing stumbling blocks into my path.  However, I will not allow that to deter me in any way.  I have spent the past month in a lake of sadness and despair.  I will NOT continue along that road and refuse to be further distracted by his deceptions. 

The point of this post is to set out a reminder...not only for myself, but for all of us.  Healing is a continual process and there are no guarantees that we will not find days that are difficult for us even after we have found healing in certain ways.  However, we must always remember the promises of love, mercy, and joy that we experienced at our retreats.  Whenever possible, we must return to that "safe place" in our retreat rooms where we realized that God is there and ready to walk with us through all of the pain and sorrow.  He has NEVER abandoned us and when we feel separated from Him, we must resolve to pray that much harder and with more determination.

"Who is here to condemn you?"
"No one."
"Then, neither do I condemn you.  Go in peace and sin no more."

Life is not about "feeling good" all the time.  Life is about serving God the best way we can and that means choosing the right path, even when it is hard to do so.  Faith is about doing the right thing, even when we are "feeling it" at that moment.  Our faith is what shall carry us through those dark moments.  Satan hopes we will remain there and give up.  God knows that we can rise above it, however, which is why Satan tries so desperately to separate us from Him. 

DON'T GIVE IN! 

I gave Satan the past month of my life.  During that time, everything lost its appeal.  I felt no joy, no happiness, no true emotion.  I disdained myself.  I felt no draw to any other person.  I refuse to continue in this feeling...no more!!!

My abortion will be something I carry with me always because I can never "undo" it.  I accept that.  I will not have children, naturally (unless God feels a miracle is in order, which would be in accordance with His Will).  I accept that.  I DO NOT accept, however, Satan's charge that I am worthless and doomed to fail in this life and prevented from entering into the next with my Lord God as a result of my abortion.  He will undoubtedly "up his game" once again as a result of this epiphany, but I will draw strength through Christ continually. 

Remember that our abortions do NOT define us.  Satan will try to keep us living in our past and sinking into that unworthy feeling.  No, rather, we can use the pain of our past to create a brighter, more loving future for others.  We can use our loss as a way of helping others through theirs.  God can do good with anything, all we have to do is remain open to His Will!

However, when Satan does try to pull us down with shame and temptation, remember how St. Teresa of Avila handled him,

"When the devil reminds you of your past, tell him of his future!"

Post-Abortive Pain - Yes, it IS Real

I was reminded, tonight, of a note I wrote and posted on my Facebook page two years ago.  I had forgotten about it, but after I re-read it, I thought it was important enough to repost in my blog.  Often times, people attempt to dismiss the feelings that accompany abortion, which only further separates a post-abortive person from its reality and in many cases, from God, Himself.  The fact that we are told we cannot grieve and that it's "no big deal" hinders our recovery in a major way. 

Destruction of life is not a lightweight thing to carry around and yet, people who are "for choice" seem to believe it is not such a serious matter.  Some believe that because we "chose" abortion that we should not continue thinking on the matter or worse, we don't deserve to grieve.  Others believe that why they might "personally" be against abortion because they believe it is wrong, they do not have a right to tell someone else they cannot have that "choice."  It saddens me that while someone can admit it is wrong that they cannot apply that truth toward others.  As a result, we have far too many abortions completed each day (thousands) and far too many living victims of that act that continue to suffer the loss of their child. 

Since obtaining my own healing, I realized that I could no longer remain silent in this matter.  Why would I ever want another person to suffer my fate?  How could I sit idly by and watch it happen?  No.  I must work to help others protect those without a voice and also, those who would otherwise suffer the pain and loss of that precious life.

The following is a copy of the note that I wrote in response to some of the people I encountered online.  One person, in particular.  I hope you will read it and consider the importance and value of each life.  The mother, father, and unborn child must all be protected.  Peace to you.

So, recently, on the Pro Life discussion board (on Facebaook), someone accused me of having a "pseudo psychological" experience with regard to my abortion. Later, she also said that I was using "scare tactics" when sharing my own, personal abortion story.


Hmmmmm...so, if I share my story...a very real perspective of a first-hand abortion experience, then I am using scare tactics and, my experience is invalid...not genuine...not noteworthy on any level. Well...I replied to her that if she is "scared" by the story, then she should try imagining what it was like to be there, going through it. If my story frightens anyone, then perhaps it is because it strikes a chord...hits a very real nerve...it highlights how unnatural and wrong abortion is and the damage it can do to a person. Not only does it extinguish a life, it forever changes another person...or...persons.

My heart is sad to think that people can be so focused on their own agendas and opinions that they would rather deny any possible pain associated with abortion rather than deal with the genuine effects of it on countless men and women. They would rather ignore an entire group of people and deny them any sort of help rather than admit that this could, indeed, be the cause of some serious problems.

We need to pray that much harder and that much more. To think that our society is becoming this heartless and without conscience is truly a frightening thing. Once we lose our ability to be sympathetic...to give dignity to others...once we give in to only "reacting" to the things around us and running on personal desire and passions alone, then what...exactly...separates us from the animals???

If anyone tells you that "post abortion syndrome" is not real and to "just get over it" then they are living in denial. It is VERY real. Most men/women suffer in silence because no one told them they are allowed to grieve. No one provides them with the outlet to talk about it and discuss how it has affected them. Healing is out there...do not despair...do not give up hope!

God is waiting. Hope is waiting.  If you are suffering from the effects of abortion, then please contact Rachel's Vineyard Ministries.  Their Web site is:  www.rachelsvineyard.org.


Additionally, there is a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat in the Tulsa (OK) area on the weekend of March 16-18.  If you would like to consider attending this retreat, please contact Catholic Charities at (918) 949-HOPE.  Ask to speak with Mary Lee Ingram about Rachel's Vineyard.  The journey toward healing begins here.  It certainly did for me.

My friend Mary...Her Story...

Although my blog is generally dedicated to experiences via Rachel's Vineyard and my healing afterwards, I have been known to also write about Pro Life matters, as you know.  This is something I think should definitely be shared with as many people as possible.  It speaks to the core of being Pro Life in all circumstances.  I hope you will not only read the story below, but also, share it with others.

Recently, I was approached by a brave young woman who asked me to share her personal story with others.  I am deeply honored she would ask me to do such a wonderful thing.  Therefore, please take the time to read her story of anguish and courage.  For the sake of privacy, I have changed her name and the name of her daughter, but not the details of her story, which remain true and intact.  We should pray that more women exhibit such strength in the face of untold opposition and fear.

My name is Mary and I would like to tell you a story.  A story about a young, 22-year old girl who was terrified, but made a choice for life against all odds and in opposition to what today's society teaches us.  This is my story.  The events relayed here happened to me a very real person who was faced with the ultimate moral decision.  Do I truly respect life, or do I only respect the lives of those who come into being with forethought and desire for their presence?  I was about to find out.

My husband and I had recently separated and my marriage was gone.  I went to visit a friend and have a drink.  In fact, she decided to throw a party that evening and I proceeded to drink two beers.  I cannot tell you if the party was fun or if I enjoyed it in the least.  Why?  Because I do not remember even the slightest detail.  What do I remember?

Waking up the next morning...disoriented...naked...headache...and upset stomach.  I was extremely conused.  I asked my friend what happened the night before? 

She told me I had passed out, so she decided to place me in one of the empty bedrooms to sleep it off.  Beyond that, she doesn't have any idea what happened beause she was busy elsewhere in the party.  She assumed, sadly, I was safe.  Although, even at that moment, nothing occurred to me, either.  I didn't consider something terrible happened to me that evening and simply went home and thought nothing of it.  Nothing, that is, until something changed  two months later.

I began to feel sick and the smell of even my most favorite foods would cause me to wretch.  It was then I began to fear what was happening to me.  With imploring eyes and terrified heart, I searched my mother's face for answers.  The words that came from her mouth shot complete horror and disbelief through my soul.  She said I was pregnant.  I was stunned.  No, that could not be true.  I told her that you only get pregnant when "doing things" that could result in pregnancy.  And since, at this time, thinkgs still weren't coming together, I did not believe anything could have caused me to become pregnant.

Still, I decided to see a doctor the next day.  What I found out there would irreversibly change my life forever.  I was terrified, but knew I needed to get answers.  While in his office, I described what I was feeling and then, we ended up talking about that night, two months prior, where I experienced the odd set of circumstances including my waking up in a highly suspect state.  The doctor, oddly enough, had been at this same party.  What a coincidence!  I conveyed to him what my friend told me about the night before and how I woke up the next morning.  It was then he described the "date rape" drug to me and I felt sicker than I have my entire life.  My body began to shake and I was all-at-once experiencing something totally unimaginable.  Was it possible?  Was this really happening to me?

The doctor had to take some time to calm me down after that.  He was kind to me and seemed to understand what I must be feeling.  I submitted to a pregnancy test and to my astonishment and shock, I tested positive.  Was this really happening to me?

It wasn't, however, until several weeks later that I accepted and realized I was, indeed, pregnant.  With that realization came the consideration of whether or not I was truly ready for another child.  My first child was born when I was 20, only two short years prior to this event.  I was suffering a broken marriage and I was utterly alone.  How could this be happening to me?  Why?

My pregnancy was a tormented state for seven long months as I continued to contemplate the possibility of abortion.  Yes, during that entire time, I kept thinking about the "choices" I had and whether or not that might be the best thing in the long run.  After all, I was alone, I already had one young child, and this was a child of rape.  What life could I offer it?  After those thoughts of abortion finally passed, I moved onto thinking of adoption for all of the same reasons.  It was an emotionally taxing time for me.

Finally, during the eighth month of pregnancy, I snapped out of my self-loathing and confusion.  I refused to permit what happened to me and the person who did it to have any further control over me or my life!  I was done!  I also decided that my baby, my child, my daughter deserved a mother, her birth mother.  I accepted my role as her mother from that day forward and would never again change my mind!


The day I gave birth to Sarah was one of the happiest of my life!  I thanked God for supporting me during my time of grief and trouble.  I thanked Him for helping me decide against abortion. 

My daughter is now five years old and I love her, dearly!  She has a few areas of concern and has ADHD but we work on those things together one day at a time.  Never would I consider giving her up or changing my mind to give her life.  Sarah is my precious gift from God and I could never have given that chance up.  I am grateful I was not swayed to do so during the time of my vulnerability.

Today, I have three children in total.  I also have experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage.  Although I love each of my children, I have to admit a special place in my heart particularly exists for Sarah, alone.  It was her life that gave mine hope through the act of courage and strength I was able to exhibit through my decision to choose life.  A decision I will never regret and for which I am eternally grateful!

Mary's story is so touching and heartfelt.  It is one that speaks of great courage and commitment to LIFE above and beyond what society told her she should do.  The love she experiences through her children and most especially, through her daughter, shall be a gift she can hold onto for all eternity.  How precious a gift each child is to us.  How sacred those defenseless lives carried in the womb. 

Imagine the anguish Mary would now feel if she had NOT chose to respect that life?

Imagine the tragedy of a world without the lovely and precious Sarah.

Just imagine.

I would also like to add to this story the fact that we, as post-abortive women, know full well the answer to the "imagine if" question posed above.  Therefore, I implore each of you to seek healing if you suffer from abortion and also, to help others be prevented from suffering so very much unnecessarily.  I hope Mary's story shall serve as an inspiration to us all.

Mary is a strong supporter of LIFE and also, remains an advocate for adoption as an alternative to abortion.  Although adoption was not her choice, she feels it is a worthwhile choice for women not ready or unwilling to parent.  It is a choice to provides dignity and respects the Sanctity of Life.

Blessings.

NOTE:  If anyone has questions for Mary or even comments, please leave them below.  I am happy to forward them to her on your behalf.  Any responses she has will be placed in the comments box below, as well.  Thank you for respecting her request to remain anonymous at this time.

Pro Life Issues Heating Up

In this month of January, 2012, many of us are gearing up for marches, speaking in public forums, and remembering all who have died since Roe v. Wade.  It is a month that should give us pause and for some, it can be painful.  For me, it is a reminder that we can never sit back and simply accept that Roe v. Wade exists and call it a day, so-to-speak.  As a post-abortive woman who has suffered much since that fateful day in August, 1991, I pray for the hearts and souls of all the unborn as well as those women who are either forced into abortion, coaxed, or otherwise believe it to be an acceptable decision.  Some of us know the pain and regret that will soon follow them.

Today, I attended a prayer breakfast featuring the Pro Life leader Georgette Forney of the Silent No More Awareness group.  It was a good opportunity to show support for this great cause and listen to a national spokesperson discuss abortion.  It was great to see so many turnout for the event.  I saw many people with whom I have worked on past campaigns and also, friends with whom I still remain in contact.  I hope that some were able to gain some insight and perhaps, additional information about the abortion industry.  I hope people walked away with additional knowledge of yet another resource for the Pro Life minded person.

What struck me, however, is the Personhood Act subject matter that arose at the end of the speaking engagement.  I was hoping to learn much more about it, especially where it concerns our National Conference of US Bishops.  We were all encouraged to show support for this legislation, but unfortunately, I do not feel the questions to which I needed answers were addressed.  One woman brought up the very question I had, however, I do not believe our speaker (not Ms. Forney at that point in the presentation) was familiar enough with the opposition considering his response.

Therefore, I did a little research on my own.  As you know, I support the dignity of LIFE with NO EXCEPTION.  I never want another man or woman to suffer as the result of an abortion.  I never want to see an innocent life destroyed because they have no voice in the womb.  It stands to reason that I should support Personhood given all of that, right?  I'm still unsure.

WHAT?

Yes.  Unsure.  I say it because while the cause is noble and makes sense, there may be unforeseen consequences that end up negatively affecting our LIFE cause.  So, I am still weighing my support and determining for myself where that support should lie.  My reasoning was found while I did some research and came across what the Bishops and Interfaith communities stated as their concerns over supporting the measure of Personhood. 

For your convenience, I am pasting what I found below.  I encourage each of you to do your own research, pray, and determine for yourselves where you stand in this matter.  Do not simply believe it because someone whom we trust is in support of it.  It is vital that we know well what it is that we support and all the aspects of it.  Don't you agree?

Here is the information I came across (link where I found this particular information is listed below, as well - I did note that it supported much of the information I read on other sites and sources, as well):

Personhood amendments may overturn existing laws restricting abortion, because states treat abortion and homicide as legally different actions. Abortion restrictions would have to be replaced with fetal-homicide laws.

Legal challenges to the Personhood amendment could result in the awarding of legal fees to Planned Parenthood

If a Personhood Amendment was construed to ban abortion it may go to the Supreme Court which currently has a pro-Roe majority, one that might take the opportunuity to rule against the "personhood" of unborn children, and possibly reversing the incrementalists' legal gains.

Read more: http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-11-09/politics/30376845_1_abortion-restrictions-ban-abortion-pro-life-activists#ixzz1jTySdPCK

Another reason for my doubt is that the National Right to Life organization, who is (in fact) affiliated with our Oklahomans for Life, is opposing statewide measures at Personhood.  Oklahomans for Life is currently rallying statewide support via petitions and I am holding back from signing them at this time.  Again, I point to the real concerns that arise and if something like this, on this level, could in fact hinder our abolition of the Roe v. Wade decision, then I have serious reservations about supporting it.  So, I will continue to research and discern where my support should ultimately rest.  Until then, I shall refrain from supporting either position.

This is a matter of deep, personal consideration.  While we strive to end abortion on a nationwide scale, and while we continue to support laws that provide more and more protection to the unborn as well as the mothers, we must be careful not to become so lost in our zeal for LIFE that we ignore possible road blocks or total wreckage ahead.  If we can avoid them, we absolutely should.  Regardless of your position, I do not believe that anyone should take their decision lightly.  Research, pray, and decide for yourself. 

Life is too valuable.  From conception until natural death.  Peace.