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Sunday, February 5, 2012

My friend Mary...Her Story...

Although my blog is generally dedicated to experiences via Rachel's Vineyard and my healing afterwards, I have been known to also write about Pro Life matters, as you know.  This is something I think should definitely be shared with as many people as possible.  It speaks to the core of being Pro Life in all circumstances.  I hope you will not only read the story below, but also, share it with others.

Recently, I was approached by a brave young woman who asked me to share her personal story with others.  I am deeply honored she would ask me to do such a wonderful thing.  Therefore, please take the time to read her story of anguish and courage.  For the sake of privacy, I have changed her name and the name of her daughter, but not the details of her story, which remain true and intact.  We should pray that more women exhibit such strength in the face of untold opposition and fear.

My name is Mary and I would like to tell you a story.  A story about a young, 22-year old girl who was terrified, but made a choice for life against all odds and in opposition to what today's society teaches us.  This is my story.  The events relayed here happened to me a very real person who was faced with the ultimate moral decision.  Do I truly respect life, or do I only respect the lives of those who come into being with forethought and desire for their presence?  I was about to find out.

My husband and I had recently separated and my marriage was gone.  I went to visit a friend and have a drink.  In fact, she decided to throw a party that evening and I proceeded to drink two beers.  I cannot tell you if the party was fun or if I enjoyed it in the least.  Why?  Because I do not remember even the slightest detail.  What do I remember?

Waking up the next morning...disoriented...naked...headache...and upset stomach.  I was extremely conused.  I asked my friend what happened the night before? 

She told me I had passed out, so she decided to place me in one of the empty bedrooms to sleep it off.  Beyond that, she doesn't have any idea what happened beause she was busy elsewhere in the party.  She assumed, sadly, I was safe.  Although, even at that moment, nothing occurred to me, either.  I didn't consider something terrible happened to me that evening and simply went home and thought nothing of it.  Nothing, that is, until something changed  two months later.

I began to feel sick and the smell of even my most favorite foods would cause me to wretch.  It was then I began to fear what was happening to me.  With imploring eyes and terrified heart, I searched my mother's face for answers.  The words that came from her mouth shot complete horror and disbelief through my soul.  She said I was pregnant.  I was stunned.  No, that could not be true.  I told her that you only get pregnant when "doing things" that could result in pregnancy.  And since, at this time, thinkgs still weren't coming together, I did not believe anything could have caused me to become pregnant.

Still, I decided to see a doctor the next day.  What I found out there would irreversibly change my life forever.  I was terrified, but knew I needed to get answers.  While in his office, I described what I was feeling and then, we ended up talking about that night, two months prior, where I experienced the odd set of circumstances including my waking up in a highly suspect state.  The doctor, oddly enough, had been at this same party.  What a coincidence!  I conveyed to him what my friend told me about the night before and how I woke up the next morning.  It was then he described the "date rape" drug to me and I felt sicker than I have my entire life.  My body began to shake and I was all-at-once experiencing something totally unimaginable.  Was it possible?  Was this really happening to me?

The doctor had to take some time to calm me down after that.  He was kind to me and seemed to understand what I must be feeling.  I submitted to a pregnancy test and to my astonishment and shock, I tested positive.  Was this really happening to me?

It wasn't, however, until several weeks later that I accepted and realized I was, indeed, pregnant.  With that realization came the consideration of whether or not I was truly ready for another child.  My first child was born when I was 20, only two short years prior to this event.  I was suffering a broken marriage and I was utterly alone.  How could this be happening to me?  Why?

My pregnancy was a tormented state for seven long months as I continued to contemplate the possibility of abortion.  Yes, during that entire time, I kept thinking about the "choices" I had and whether or not that might be the best thing in the long run.  After all, I was alone, I already had one young child, and this was a child of rape.  What life could I offer it?  After those thoughts of abortion finally passed, I moved onto thinking of adoption for all of the same reasons.  It was an emotionally taxing time for me.

Finally, during the eighth month of pregnancy, I snapped out of my self-loathing and confusion.  I refused to permit what happened to me and the person who did it to have any further control over me or my life!  I was done!  I also decided that my baby, my child, my daughter deserved a mother, her birth mother.  I accepted my role as her mother from that day forward and would never again change my mind!

The day I gave birth to Sarah was one of the happiest of my life!  I thanked God for supporting me during my time of grief and trouble.  I thanked Him for helping me decide against abortion. 

My daughter is now five years old and I love her, dearly!  She has a few areas of concern and has ADHD but we work on those things together one day at a time.  Never would I consider giving her up or changing my mind to give her life.  Sarah is my precious gift from God and I could never have given that chance up.  I am grateful I was not swayed to do so during the time of my vulnerability.

Today, I have three children in total.  I also have experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage.  Although I love each of my children, I have to admit a special place in my heart particularly exists for Sarah, alone.  It was her life that gave mine hope through the act of courage and strength I was able to exhibit through my decision to choose life.  A decision I will never regret and for which I am eternally grateful!

Mary's story is so touching and heartfelt.  It is one that speaks of great courage and commitment to LIFE above and beyond what society told her she should do.  The love she experiences through her children and most especially, through her daughter, shall be a gift she can hold onto for all eternity.  How precious a gift each child is to us.  How sacred those defenseless lives carried in the womb. 

Imagine the anguish Mary would now feel if she had NOT chose to respect that life?

Imagine the tragedy of a world without the lovely and precious Sarah.

Just imagine.

I would also like to add to this story the fact that we, as post-abortive women, know full well the answer to the "imagine if" question posed above.  Therefore, I implore each of you to seek healing if you suffer from abortion and also, to help others be prevented from suffering so very much unnecessarily.  I hope Mary's story shall serve as an inspiration to us all.

Mary is a strong supporter of LIFE and also, remains an advocate for adoption as an alternative to abortion.  Although adoption was not her choice, she feels it is a worthwhile choice for women not ready or unwilling to parent.  It is a choice to provides dignity and respects the Sanctity of Life.


NOTE:  If anyone has questions for Mary or even comments, please leave them below.  I am happy to forward them to her on your behalf.  Any responses she has will be placed in the comments box below, as well.  Thank you for respecting her request to remain anonymous at this time.


  1. Thank you for sharing my story. I hope it will help others who face the same situation.

  2. Thank you for this wonderful story Christine. I am so happy for "Mary" that she made the choice to CHOOSE LIFE! God Bless her and her children.