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Saturday, November 15, 2014

When Things Become Final...

Recently, I saw my doctor regarding some trouble with various "female" parts.  We talked about all we have done to date and what we need to do next.  Only one option remained, and so, the day of finality came and the surgery has been scheduled.  I was surprised by a sudden swelling of emotion because I thought I had truly come to terms with this eventual reality.

No motherhood in the traditional sense.  

No, this was final, but not a surprise.  Then, I realized, that no matter the preparation and healing, the simple fact remains...I wanted heart desired motherhood...this is a sad day.  I accepted it and permitted the feelings to swell and flow as needed.  It was short-lived, but certainly needed.

It is important to remind ourselves that emotions are not dangerous nor things to avoid.  They permit us to know we are FEELING and then, we can choose how to best navigate those feelings.  Stifling them only leads to more pain and suffering later.  This is the trap Satan sets.  He revels in our despair and enjoys watching us twist around-and-around in this snare of his.  I say STOP!  We must face those emotions and permit them their due.  Then, we can work through those things by seeing that hope and healing are real...that although we might suffer more than once from our pain...we are never doomed to remain in that suffering eternally...

We CAN ask for help...we SHOULD seek God...we MUST seek support!  

God provides us with all we need to endure even the most terrible of things.  He never abandons us and never turns away.

While reflecting upon this time of my life, I wrote a simple note to describe the up-and-down emotions I have experienced in recent years.  My hope is this story will feel familiar to someone else, so they might realize they ARE NOT ALONE and that we endure all things TOGETHER.  We are sisters and brothers even without having met.  Our plight is one shared because countless others are ready and willing to reach out and lift up those in need.  We are strong because God gives us strength to press onward in spite of pain.

The point of this is to say, "It's ok to feel sad sometimes!"  It's normal.  It is NOT however the end of is simply a moment in time.  Surround yourself with hope by reaching out in those moments that threaten to develop into despair.  Christ is our rock and His love envelops us!  Nothing shall prevail against Him!

I placed this onto the Facebook page I manage, but thought I should list it here, also.  Hopefully, it can be increased in size to read it.

May you be blessed always and if you feel alone, remember that we are all out here...waiting to help you find healing and hope!

Monday, September 1, 2014


      So, it has such a long time since I sat down to write about this topic.  A good reason for that is my journey into a bachelor's and now, a master's program.  I obtained the bachelor's in social work (BSW) this past May (2014) and entered directly into a 1-year master's program for the same.  I will receive a master's in social work (MSW), God willing, in May 2015.  It has been an awesome journey and one that will forever shape me.  In my undergraduate, I completed a massive research paper entitled, "Post-Abortion Syndrome Among Women" that received the highest award at the school.  It was an honor and humbling.  I make mention of the award not to brag, but to bring up what such a distinction meant.  I was able to put post-abortion syndrome center stage in an academic setting.  The paper was recognized during a public reception at the school where I discussed my findings with various professors and other students.  I made the assertion that no matter your political stance on the abortion issue, people were suffering because of abortion and ignoring their pleas is irresponsible and unethical.  It was a great moment indeed. Wow!
     Now that we are caught up, I am inclined to discuss the topic at hand.  Contradiction has come to mind lately in regard to the abortion issue.  Yes, those of us who are Pro-Life often see the contradiction of the Pro-Choice arguments.  On one hand, they state that a woman has every right to make the "choice" herself and yet, when it is suggested that she be provided ALL of the information available in order to make an educated "choice," they run the other direction.  Or, the argument that it is not a "baby" unless the mother wants it - how is this scientifically sound as an argument, by the way?  Another point made is that the "baby" cannot feel nor be impacted by abortion negatively and is a non-entity until out of the womb…yet…these same persons are appalled when seeing a pregnant woman smoking or drinking.  


     In my master's program, our professors talk a great deal about the impact of trauma upon children as well as adults.  They inform us about the long-term and far-reaching effects of any kind of trauma that is experienced early in life.  Interestingly, two of my professors recently brought up the impact of trauma on children that is experienced IN THE WOMB!  

     Yes, unborn persons (who, by definition of Pro-Choice persons, are not really persons) experience the trauma and stress felt by the mother while in the womb…a pre-born "non-entity."  I found this interesting considering the widely held opinions of most of my professors that highlight the right of a woman to choose her "reproductive health" options.  So, I wonder, if the baby is able to feel trauma while in the womb…and the baby can be negatively impacted by smoking, drugs, alcohol while in the womb…and the baby can come into the world already at a deficit because of things that occurred inside the womb…then what, exactly, is "choice" really about???  Are we now saying it is ok to kill simply because we want to kill?  If that is the case, then where does this "right to kill" begin and end?  Truly…where?  Who says?  How is it justified?  What is the evidence behind making that decision?  Hmmmmm...     

     I am perplexed, to say the least.  Many questions come to mind…

  • How can we support abortion when it causes pain and suffering to the baby on a permanent level as well as trauma to the mother and others involved (i.e., baby's father, parents, etc.)?  
  • If we recognize the baby's ability to experience things inside the womb, then how can we then justify extinguishing what is obviously a living human being based solely upon a twisted view of choice?  
  • How do we ignore the suffering inside and out of the womb?  
  • How can we ethically walk away from actions that impact so permanently?


     It is sad that so many are totally blind to the contradictions all around them.  It saddens my heart that while we recognize the lasting impact of trauma upon multiple lives that we continue to perpetuate that trauma in spite of this knowledge.  Society pays lip service to the idea of "do no harm" and yet, remains complacent in its repeated offenses.  As a social worker, as a human being, as a Catholic, I am bound to help those who suffer and to find ways for people to heal.  I am called to protect those who cannot protect themselves…I am called to social justice wherever I see harm perpetuated on one or more persons…and yet, some would have me turn away from this group of traumatized and suffering persons.  


How can I ignore the suffering?  How can I look past the hurt and pain, and simply do nothing?  How can I serve those in need if I ignore the blatant contradiction of this type of thinking?  I do not believe I can…no...I do not believe I can...