No children...no pregnancy...no motherhood in the traditional sense.
No, this was final, but not a surprise. Then, I realized, that no matter the preparation and healing, the simple fact remains...I wanted children...my heart desired motherhood...this is a sad day. I accepted it and permitted the feelings to swell and flow as needed. It was short-lived, but certainly needed.
It is important to remind ourselves that emotions are not dangerous nor things to avoid. They permit us to know we are FEELING and then, we can choose how to best navigate those feelings. Stifling them only leads to more pain and suffering later. This is the trap Satan sets. He revels in our despair and enjoys watching us twist around-and-around in this snare of his. I say STOP! We must face those emotions and permit them their due. Then, we can work through those things by seeing that hope and healing are real...that although we might suffer more than once from our pain...we are never doomed to remain in that suffering eternally...
God provides us with all we need to endure even the most terrible of things. He never abandons us and never turns away.
While reflecting upon this time of my life, I wrote a simple note to describe the up-and-down emotions I have experienced in recent years. My hope is this story will feel familiar to someone else, so they might realize they ARE NOT ALONE and that we endure all things TOGETHER. We are sisters and brothers even without having met. Our plight is one shared because countless others are ready and willing to reach out and lift up those in need. We are strong because God gives us strength to press onward in spite of pain.
The point of this is to say, "It's ok to feel sad sometimes!" It's normal. It is NOT however the end of us...it is simply a moment in time. Surround yourself with hope by reaching out in those moments that threaten to develop into despair. Christ is our rock and His love envelops us! Nothing shall prevail against Him!
I placed this onto the Facebook page I manage, but thought I should list it here, also. Hopefully, it can be increased in size to read it.
May you be blessed always and if you feel alone, remember that we are all out here...waiting to help you find healing and hope!