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Thursday, January 28, 2010

My "Wow" Moment

I had a real "wow" moment yesterday. I want to share it on this blog. Again, not even sure anyone is reading all that I write here, but you never know. Some day, perhaps even after I'm long gone, some kid doing a research paper will stumble upon my rantings, right? LOL

Anyway, I've been really active with posting the healing message on my Facebook page. Joining various pro-life groups and then, posting the healing message on there, too. My status updates generally consist of Rachel's Vineyard information or a blip about my story, whatever I am feeling at the time. I never know if anyone is actually paying attention to any of it, but I keep doing it just in case. I really feel as though God is leading me through this and it's becoming a huge part of my life.

Suddenly, I see that I have an Inbox message and I check it. It's a message from one of the people I "friended" to play a Facebook game (yes, I'm addicted to Farmville...ugh...so sad and so not proud of this). She wants to know more about the next retreat. She and her sister want to attend. WOW! Seriously? Really? I'm mean just WOW!!! My heart started to race. I couldn't believe it. Do people really read the stuff I write? Amazing!

I have since corresponded with her and she even called me to talk about things on the phone. Her story is not unlike many - a regretful abortion. But, she feels she's made her peace with most of it. For that, I am thankful. Her sister's story is even more heart-tugging. A situation of abuse, duress, guilt, bad choices, bad marriage, feeling caught, feeling like a horrible person, etc. Oh, my heart hurts for her so deeply. That's all a part of post-abortive life. That's the part that people neglect to tell you...the part that no one wants to discuss. What happens to you AFTER the abortion? Do you simply go home and pretend that it was no big deal? Do they tell you about the years of guilt that will accompany that decision?

There are so many statistics out there that show many abortions are the result of being placed into a "I have no other choice" situation. Whether by parents who mean well, but are misled, or by boyfriends/husbands/friends who think that your best option is to not deal with a baby right now...for whatever reason (you are too young...I don't want children...adoption will only make you sad for that baby...the list goes on and on). Many women don't want their abortions, but are under the heavy weight of duress, fear, guilt, etc. I'm not making excuses, however, people need to understand that in changing society's view of abortion, we must also change people's hearts when it comes to advising others on abortion. It has to start there. Often, people telling women to have an abortion have NO CLUE what will occur...they are numb to the fact that it's completely unnatural to take a child from your body in such a manner. And, that unnatural act will have dire effects long after the procedure is complete.

The women who are pregnant are already afraid and when that fear is compounded by someone telling them "this is the best thing to do" or "you have no choice, you do this or else" well, it confuses and/or further frightens you. You get lost...you're afraid and you assume this person you've trusted to help you knows what they're talking about. Or, you are terrified of rejection if you do not comply with what that person is asking of you. You feel trapped, closed in and unable to think or breath.

What these people fail to tell you or don't know themselves is that once you place yourself on that operating table...once you allow that doctor access to your womb in such a destructive way...there are SEVERE consequences that will follow...that will haunt you...that will stay with you every part of every day whether consciously or unconsciously...it's always there...you will always have that emptiness...you will always know you should have a child in this world...a child, that by your actions, never even took a breath.

The woman and I spoke for about 30 minutes and I tried to let God do the talking for me, so-to-speak. After all, it's God that is speaking through me with all of this anyway...why would I want to mess all that work up now by taking control, right? We had a good conversation and I was able to provide her with the name and phone number of a counselor with Catholic Charities that could further advise and help her along. If nothing else, the counselor could certainly help her find resources close to her and her sister's areas (they both live in different states). From our conversation, it seems that they will both attend a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat in the near future. I pray that will happen and they both will find the complete healing these retreats help a post-abortive person find.

Ultimately, I may never know how this thing ends. I may never know if the healing is found or if these ladies are able to make a retreat. What I do know is that the message got to them and now, they have their own choices to make. I am incredibly humbled by the fact that God allowed me to help someone by getting them information that could lead to their healing. It has further encouraged me to continue along this path...to keep writing "into space" because if I only ever reach one person, that is one less person walking around with the constant pain and struggle of the post-abortive life. That makes it all worth it.

1 comment:

  1. Praise the LORD! God bless you!!!

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